Old Recycled Post... Never Posted...

It's almost over. I say almost because there are still little remnants. Things to clear up, clean up.
It's time to move on to a different phase. The rush and hectic lifestyle of before has decidedly ended, yet I cannot find inside me the will to change my view.
Not that I do not want to, just that I'm not sure how I will proceed. It's not that I don't want to move on, it's just that I'm not sure I've got the tools to do so.
I just read something recently about agonizing over the written word and how such writers should probably release their readers from reading such drivel!
But sometimes it seems that until you start complaining there isn't real stuff coming out.
How strange. Writing a draft and working over it is the best way to finally see how the process goes.
Yet for me, writing for writing's sake is not only difficult, but necessary. It helps me release pent up frustration, anger and other negative feelings hindering my growth. Still, I don't always find the time to do so. If it is so critical, why won't I make myself sit for one hour every day, at the same time, at the same place and pour out whatever comes out of my mind?
When I skip the writing, something strange happens. I get almost the same feeling as when I skip my run... I become restless, absent-minded, grumpy. But even more, I become insecure.
I mean... insecure? What's that got to do with writing?
Well, if I use it as a release, then it means that it probably helps me balance everything just so. Without that balance, my chi is then all wrong.
I can't find any poem that relates to how I feel.